Discipleship Part 3: More on denying myself

previous post: Discipleship Part 2

We are talking about self-denial from Matthew 16 when we see what we must do to follow (or be a disciple) of Jesus. He said we must do what He did, deny himself.

So to find out what self denial really means, lets look at how Christ exercised self-denial.
Philippians 2:3-8 says that we should
     "Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, Um...do I do anything with the hope that someone will notice? Do I do anything desiring praise for a job well done? Do I get frustrated if someone else gets the total credit for something I worked and slaved to do/make? Do I crave recognition or get down if I don't get it?  YES! I do all of those thing!!  THAT IS SELFISH AMBITION AND VAIN CONCEIT!
but in humility consider others better than yourselves".  Ok...So when I think in my head things like "I don't deserve to get treated that way" or "who does he think he is" or when I consider my own needs as priority over Brandon's or my neighbors'.  Or when I think...Oh, they might need such and such, but I just have to take care of me first.  All of those things mean I'm not considering others better than me.
Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.  This needs no explanation.  But who are those others? The "jerk" on the highway that is trying to cut me off? What about his interests? The friend or extended family member that loves to come over but wears everyone out when they arrive because they are an emotional black hole?  What about their needs? The dirty, crazy looking homeless guy, or the homosexual co-worker, or the creepy neighbor kid?  Anyway.
Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus: Who, being in very nature God, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, but made Himself nothing, Wow.  Wow.  So, His status, His "rights", His recognition, His position, His power...laid it all aside.  Became nothing.  Pointed only to the Father, never to Himself.  Forsook all that he had.  I take some sort of pride in my education.  My nationality, my gits, talents, my wonderful kids, my wonderful marriage.  I take pride in my critical thinking skills, in my "right standing" with God, as if I had something to do with that.  I don't habitually forget myself.  I don't habitually lay down everything that I feel makes me "me."  I don't EVER make myself nothing,
taking the very nature of a servant...He humbled Himself and became obedient to death - even death on a cross.  Who/what am I obedient to?  This is more than I can comprehend right now.

In reading My Utmost For His Highest the other day I was reminded of 2 things: The work of God in my life is less a product of my own efforts than the submission of my entire being to the Source: He who works in me.

And also that submission is a continuous act of the will in denying myself, (my desires, my ambitions, my sense of personal injustices, offences against me, my self-righteous attitudes, my personal freedoms, what I am "owed", my lofty (or poor) self-image, my cravings, to name a few)  but even that act requires the grace of God in my life.

Therefore, I want to fellowship with, and get to know better, the Creator and rely on the grace of His Son to submit my life to Him that He may produce change in me.

Discipleship Part 2: Denying myself

For the first half of this discussion, go here.

Christ said:  "If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me." Matthew 16:24 (also in Mark 8 and Luke 9)

This morning I wanted to write about the denying yourself part.  I have been wondering for a while what exactly that looks like.  I feel like the Lord has been calling me to self denial, and I, in total ignorance of what that really means, flippantly have said "sure, Lord! Sounds good."  I mean I really do WANT to be a serious, hardcore, sold out disciple of Him.  I don't see the point in sort of walking around with this faith and not really experiencing the abundant life promised me.  It has been my desire for a long time to be extreme for Jesus!  But what does that denying oneself have to do with my day to day?

I asked this question on facebook (Do you deny yourself) and I got some fantastic responses.  All about putting other's needs first, serving one another, things like that.  And although I wholeheartedly believe that that is a part of this denying concept, I think that keeping my self-denial to serving my family is missing one of the other vital and rewarding parts.

I also have delved into the notion that denying myself means that I deny myself some wants/desires as a life habit.  I realized that I was living my life satisfying almost all of my immediate desires.  Thank God none of those desires were for anything sinful in themselves (wasn't desiring to look at porn or anything) but I wasn't exercising self discipline.  I wanted that flavored coffee creamer, so I bought it.  I wanted to try that new kind of cracker so I bought it.  I didn't want to eat what was on the menu that night, so I changed it!  I thought such and such toy would be fun for the kids so I got it for them.  I was spoiling myself and my children and leading them to believe that if you want it, that is reason enough to have it.  (SIDE BAR: Not being able to afford something did keep me from buying or getting things to a certain extent.  I wasn't a spend-aholic or anything, just spoiled)  So, when I realized this about myself, I stopped!  I realized that practicing self-denial in this way is an excellent practice in self discipline.  That my wants of each moment are not priority and don't have to be satisfied in the immediate.  That to truly trust the Lord with what I have and need, I should not take it upon myself to instantly gratify each whim.  Or each whim of my children.  It was a great practice, but again, after all of that, I realized that this is only another aspect of this greater concept of self-denial.  Something grander is still missing.  (This goes into another life lesson of contentment, which I am going to blog about soon!)

So here we are to the now.  What is left? How can I deny myself, that first step in being a true follower (disciple) of Jesus?

When Christ was giving instructions to His disciples and said what he said about what you must do to follow him, he was stating something obvious that I had missed until now.  When He said  "If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me."   What did Christ Himself do?  He denied Himself.  What???  He is the Creator of the Universe with skin on! Then, He took up His cross.  We all know what that is referring to.  He was stating (and I feel foolish for not seeing it in exactly these terms before) that in order to be a disciple of Christ, we must do what He did.

To continue the discussion, go to Discipleship Part 3

My Thoughts on Discipleship Part 1

I've been thinking a little bit about discipleship. What is it, really? Am I doing it? Should I be? What should it look like?

First of all lets talk about being a disciple of Jesus Christ. I mean really, it has to start there. In Matthew chapter 8 there were a couple of people that wanted to be disciples. I think that was a fairly common thing in that time. John the baptist had disciples. Most of the "teachers of the Law" had disciples. People that followed around their disciple-er and learned from him and imitated him. There were a lot more disciples than just the 12 around Jesus. From what I understand, disciple means: One who follows one's teaching. So to be a disciple of Jesus seemed to be the thing to do at the time.

One of the teachers of the law (also called a scribe) wanted to be a disciple. "Let me follow you around!" (paraphrased by me). To which Jesus replies (not paraphrased) "Foxes have dens and birds have nests, but the Son of Man has no place to lay his head." What?? So what are we to make of that answer. Obviously, you couldn't be following Christ around and expect to have a nice cozy, safe place to sleep every night. Hrm.

The next guy says "I want to go and bury my father before I go" and Christ replies "Follow me, and let the dead bury their own dead." So..how are we to take that. (by the way, the basic understanding is that the guy's dad wasn't dead and waiting to be buried, but he was older and the guy wanted to stick around until he died...and THEN follow) So apparently, Jesus didn't want that guy to wait. He wanted him right then.

So what can we take from this? What was (is) the cost of following a man like Jesus? Simply liking His teaching? Being an active listener and trying to apply these amazing "truths"? Or is it more than that?

Let me suggest that it is in fact MUCH more than that. Jesus was expecting his followers to be willing to sacrifice comfort. Willing to sacrifice stability (in a worldly/wealthy sense). Willing to sacrifice safety in terms of always having a roof over your head. He expected followers to leave behind whatever worldly attachments they had.

Then, a few chapters later, Jesus gets super clear as to what he expects of a disciple. "Then Jesus said to his disciples, “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me. For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will find it." Um. Alright.

This is radical.

This is not "oh, I like Jesus...he's a good teacher and taught us a lot about treating others how you would like to be treated"

This is what it looks like to truly be a disciple of Christ. So now what? How for real am I about being a disciple of Christ? How well do I know what he says? More than that, how well do I apply it?

Do I turn the other cheek? Do I walk 2 miles when unfairly asked to walk 1? Do I pray for those who hurt me? Do I judge others? Do I visit those in prison, feed the hungry, give water to the thirsty, tend to the sick? Am I storing up treasure in heaven? Am I free from worry? Am I doing the will of my father in heaven? These are serious questions because if I am not doing those things, if I am not forsaking all for the call of Christ, if my life is no different internally and externally from one who is not a disciple, then can I really call myself a disciple? What am I willing to sacrifice. How radical am I willing to be in following Christ and His teachings. `

Let me tell you my answer. I have not been radical enough. A diligent enough student. More of my energies go to just doing my day to day than to pursuing my Teacher (and Savior and Redeemer and Friend) I want to be a true disciple of Jesus Christ. Do you want to join me?

AUGH! There is so much more I want to say on this subject. So many more thoughts running through my head but if this gets any longer, no one will have the fortitude to read it and I'll never get it posted. It has already taken me an entire day just to get this much down. So...I will post other installments for those interested in reading at a later date.

Disclaimer: I do not think you have to be perfect to be a disciple of Christ. I do not thing that we earn our salvation or earn favor with God by doing things better. This is a conversation regarding following the teachings of Christ after one has already put their faith in Him and His work on the cross. This is not legalism. I hope that is clear. Let me know if it isn't.